I'm trying to do what I believe in; that should count for something, right?
Sometimes it's hard to know what you really believe in, I think. Life is this series of choices and we have to let go of one thing to reach for another. There are limitations on time, resources, energy, capacity.
Lately I've found myself sacrificing things I never thought I would in order to do other things I never thought I would care about. It makes me wonder if I'm taking the easy road or the right one - and how do you know? Nothing is ever easy. There are downsides, always. So how do you recognize when those downsides are a signal that you're taking the more difficult path, or when they signify that it's a path you were never meant to tread?
What do I value? What are my priorities, and why? If I suddenly realize I'm doing something and I'm not sure why any longer, does that mean I'm mistaken or simply exhausted? How do I retrace my steps and start again - can I even?
Moments leave and they never return. Nanoseconds are electrified with pressure.
Perhaps rather than agonize over each moment, creating an infinite swirl of dubiousness, we should think always, consider briefly, and accept whatever comes with a sense of agency. They are our choices after all and we can change them whenever we want, even if the do-over doesn't look quite like we imagined it would. Because I think maybe that's what it is to strive for what you believe in and not settle.
Honestly though, I haven't a clue.